Nov 25, '15: "The LORD is near"

Psalm 34:18-22 

(I see that the flow of thoughts could be divided into two parts.) 

The LORD is near to those who have a broken heart, 
And saves such as have a contrite spirit.
Many are the afflictions of the righteous, 
But the LORD delivers him out of them all.
He guards all his bones; 
Not one of them is broken.

Evil shall slay the wicked, 
And those who hate the righteous shall be condemned.
The LORD redeems the soul of His servants, 
And none of those who trust in Him shall be condemned. 

Having a broken heart and a crushed spirit pretty much sums my life up right now.

"contrite"
Mr. McBride once defined it to be "in constant repentance." 
International Standard Bible Encyclopedia: In Holy Scripture, the heart is the seat of all feeling, whether joy or sorrow. A contrite heart is one in which the natural pride and self-sufficiency have been completely humbled by the consciousness of guilt.

That part of the definition I haven't found myself in.
I have been too prideful nowadays--way, way, too prideful.
All these things in my life at one point became so comfortable in a sense that it just started to breed pride.
He's breaking all of them down now... ALL of them!
My friends, my M1, my schoolwork, my dorm room--everything is falling apart, and I am deep down glad that they are.

The Lord is near to the broken-hearted; how am I doing on the pride checks lately?
I need to remember who I am in Christ--simply a fallen, filthy, disgusting sinner whom He loved enough to touch and redeem.
Amazing.

What caught me was the the word "guard" is used. God never leaves--He never forsakes.
He's guarding--through my high and through my lows.
The thing is even when there isn't any trouble, He's there.
Even when there aren't storms and there aren't struggles, He's there, guarding, watching, protecting.
I lose sight of that sometimes... It sometimes seems as though Scripture offers much comfort to the lost, broken, and struggling; but in reality, it does so too for the victorious, thriving, and filled.

Another thing that caught me was that He says He guards the bones, right after He says the afflictions of the righteous are many.
(By the way, isn't it interesting that the word "afflictions" is used? There are beings going against the righteous--earthly or demonic. Afflictions are intentional and have to come from a source.)
He doesn't say He guards the body or the flesh. He guards the BONES.
Everything around me can fall apart--my feelings, my mind, my speech, my health. My emotions may rage, and I may cry myself to sleep every night.
But nothing--NOTHING--
can touch my bones, my structure, my foundation.
It's unshakable and protected; it's in the safest hands.

He'll let me go through all of this. He really will.
He'll put me through much crap from TA-ing and from being far from anything familiar; but He will hold my bones together. He will keep my core at peace. What's on the surface can fade away--my skin and flesh can rot away.
I only need to know that deep down inside of me, I have joy and safety.

I have nothing to fear in this life.
I really don't.

This morning's devotions have been both convicting and comforting.
From His love, I shall remember my nothingness with joy and appreciation.
From His love, I shall rise up to love and serve everyone around me.
From His love, I shall rest, knowing that nothing can shake what matters.

The second part then goes deeper.
It isn't about the earthly realm anymore--it isn't about horizontal relationships now.
He goes on to declare that His justice will come; His elect will prevail.
I'm not safe just temporarily here on earth; I'm safe eternally down to my soul.

It's almost as if He's saying, "Yes, I'll protect your bones. But hey, more than that, I'll protect your soul."

I stand in absolute amazement. I don't even know what to say anymore. Speechless--He has rendered me speechless.

I end with this.

Ephesians 3:20-21 
Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us,
to Him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever. Amen.

Psalm 34:18-22;
★ry

Nov 24, '15: "seek peace and pursue it"

Psalm 34:9-14
Oh, fear the Lord, you His saints!
There is no want to those who fear Him.
The young lions lack and suffer hunger;
But those who seek the Lord shall not lack any good thing.
Come, you children, listen to me;
I will teach you the fear of the Lord.
Who is the man who desires life,
And loves many days, that he may see good?
Keep your tongue from evil,
And your lips from speaking deceit.
Depart from evil and do good;
Seek peace and pursue it.

TA-ing has been crap nowadays. Already being emotionally unstable as an international student here, I don't know how I'm having the strength to keep putting each foot forward as insults and anger keep being hurled at me. 

It's entirely God who is keeping my character throughout all this. 

He keeps the righteous, as what Psalm 34 says. 

But that isn't my thought for the day. 

The word "pursue" is translated as "maintain" in the NLT. 

"seek"
בָּקַשׁ (bä·kash')
a primitive root;
^ H1245: to search out (by any method, specifically in worship or prayer); by implication, to strive after:—ask, beg, beseech, desire, enquire, get, make inquisition, procure, (make) request, require, seek (for).

All this just points me back to being a TA who seeks peace. Seeking peace is really putting the other person first. It is relating to them. 

John 13:12-17
So when He had washed their feet, taken His garments, and sat down again, He said to them, “Do you know what I have done to you? You call Me Teacher and Lord, and you say well, for so I am. If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet. For I have given you an example, that you should do as I have done to you. Most assuredly, I say to you, a servant is not greater than his master; nor is he who is sent greater than he who sent him. If you know these things, blessed are you if you do them.

In the same chapter, He says, 

John 13:34-35
A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another. By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.”

The thought which often comes to my mind is that most students do not complain about their grade--they lament. Most of the time, they're sad about it--not angry.
They don't understand. 

In a sense, if they want someone to lash out at, I'm glad to be that person. 

I guess a part of me wishes to be liked, even as a TA. 

And an even bigger part of me wishes that I am not alone here in America, but everyone knows the truth--I am alone and nothing's changed, even with friends like Hanne by my side. 

Either way, alone or not, I have Christ and the power of His resurrection to bring me into the Promised Land and live righteously for Him. 

I don't know where my thoughts led me for this one, but peace shall be my meditation for the day. 

"peace"
שָׁלוֹם (shä·lōm')
from H7999;
^ H7965: safe, i.e. (figuratively) well, happy, friendly; also (abstractly) welfare, i.e. health, prosperity, peace ...

שָׁלַם (shä·lam' )
a primitive root;
^ H7999: to be safe (in mind, body or estate); figuratively, to be (causatively, make) completed; by implication, to be friendly; by extension, to reciprocate (in various applications):—make amends, (make an) end, finish, full, give again, make good, (re-) pay (again), (make) (to) (be at) peace(-able), that is perfect, perform, (make) prosper(-ous), recompense, render, requite, make restitution, restore, reward ...

Psalm 34:9-14; 

★ry

Nov 21, '15: "looks, sees, fashions, considers"

Psalm 33:13-15
The Lord looks from heaven;
He sees all the sons of men.
From the place of His dwelling He looks
On all the inhabitants of the earth;
He fashions their hearts individually;
He considers all their works. 

I'm brought back to that night in the prayer chapel, when God used Isaac to speak to me. 

I am so amazed still. 

Sometimes I take it as a passing thought that God hears my prayers; I go all trite and think, "Yes, He listens." And that thought just ends there. 

But to actually see it play out... it's crazy. 

I was pouring my heart out to Him, laying out before Him all my hurt, and He was actually listening. 

He was listening and He did something about it to comfort me and still me before Him. 

He looks. He sees. He fashions all our hearts individually. He considers all our works. 

"considers"
בִּין (bene)
a primitive root;
^ H995: to separate mentally (or distinguish), i.e.(generally) understand:—attend, consider, be cunning, diligently, direct, discern, eloquent, feel, inform, instruct, have intelligence, know, look well to, mark, perceive, be prudent, regard, (can) skill(-full), teach, think, (cause, make to, get, give, have) understand(-ing), view, (deal) wise(-ly, man).

He's looking intently, picking out the good, the bad. 

As with many other passages in the Scriptures, it gives me both a duty to and a love for Him. 

Matthew 10:30
But the very hairs of your head are all numbered.

Psalm 139:17-18

How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God!

How great is the sum of them!
If I should count them, they would be more in number than the sand;
When I awake, I am still with You. 

This world has distorted the definition of love. 

The opposite of love isn't hatred--it is indifference. 

I have a really, really, really loving God. 

Psalm 33:13-15; 

★ry

Nov 20, '15: "praise from the upright is beautiful"

Psalm 33:1
Rejoice in the Lord, O you righteous!
For praise from the upright is beautiful.

"beautiful" 

נָאוֶה (nä·veh')

from H4998 or H5116; 

^ H5000: suitable, or beautiful:—becometh, comely, seemly. 

נָאָה (nä·ä')

a primitive root;

^ H4998: properly, to be at home, i.e. (by implication) to be pleasant (or suitable), i.e. beautiful:—be beautiful, become, be comely.

"comely"

International Standard Bible Encyclopaedia: cognate with "becoming," namely, what is suitable, graceful, handsome. 

This probably is best thing about walking uprightly or living victoriously. 

I get to praise Him with a clear heart, washed by the precious blood of Christ, and can know that it is pleasing, beautiful, and suitable to God. 

There really is no greater feeling than knowing that I am pleasing Him. 

Knowing that my praise now is beautiful, I have peace. I am comforted. 

And I never want to leave. 

Psalm 33:1; 

★ry

Nov 19, '15: "forget not"

Psalm 103:1-5
Bless the Lord, O my soul;
And all that is within me, bless His holy name!
Bless the Lord, O my soul,
And forget not all His benefits:
Who forgives all your iniquities,
Who heals all your diseases,
Who redeems your life from destruction,
Who crowns you with lovingkindness and tender mercies,
Who satisfies your mouth with good things,
So that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.

It has been a spiritual high for a really long time; it's terribly tempting to think myself as a person better than others. 

Or even when comparing myself to others is out of the picture, I by myself have strong tendencies to think I'm walking (to an extent) righteously now because of my own strong will to press into Him. 

Living life without known sin for this long, it's easy to forget where I once was and the feeling of known sin. 
Worship nowadays are without tears--just filled with joy. 
It's easy to forget. 

Definitely He wants me to walk in victory, but sometimes it's hard to remember when I've been walking in it for so long. 
Usually that's when He has to shock me into remembrance and bring me back to the reality of this broken nature. 
... He did that last week, and now He tells me "forget not." 

Pastor Dan on Sunday night said about holy communion that it is much like a reset button. 
We throw away everything and come before Him just as we are. 
We throw out of our minds the good, the bad, the nasty things we did after our salvation and come to Him like we did the first time. 
It hit me hard. 

"You want me to throw out of my mind all my ministry accomplishments? All my counseling gifts and skill? You want me to take all that victorious living out of my head and come before You?" 

It was a reset button. 
It was a "forget not." 
It was refreshing. 

Psalm 103:1-5; 
★ry

this is the first

What truly amazes me is that God is faithful to meet.
He promised in His Word: "Draw near to me and I will draw near to you."
Throughout His breathed-out Word, He's always showing not just affection but also true love for His people.

The crazy thing is
He has never not met me before...

It's like,
I can read about how He always meets His people or how He's so loving in wanting to communicate with His creation,
but actually living it and experiencing it personally???
I stand amazed, because He really has never ever failed in that promise before.

And I'm speechless.

al' dem spiritual giants be sayin':
Keep a journal; record in it faithfully. It is an investment of time, but you will never regret it.

This is the start.
And I sincerely hope there won't be an end.

He does speak... volumes, actually.
Everyday He gives me something to hold on to. Everyday there's a new lesson awaiting me--if I would step up, reach forth, and possess it.
He always has all these good things for me, all these good thoughts for me--thoughts that I would never want to forget.

So here's the first post.

Hebrews 13:8;
★ry